New Year New You – 9 Steps to Achieving Your 2e Goals

1. What did you accomplish that you’re glad/proud that you did? 

2e adults don’t always recognize their accomplishments – instead we nit pick at what we didn’t do, or our perfection gets in the way and we tell ourselves we didn’t do enough. Resist these temptations and really answer this question. No doubt there are things you did that can make you feel good or even proud. Remember, these things do not need to be grandiose. As my husband always reminds me “the enemy of good is better.” So give yourself a break and acknowledge the small stuff.  Did you help someone? Were you patient with your child or your partner? Did you learn about yourself, your family, or a topic you wanted to explore? These are accomplishments that deserve recognition.

2. What didn’t you do that you thought you would get to last year?

Be gentle with yourself. Likely you have good reason for not getting to that task or goal. Perhaps it was a time issue, maybe there was something that became critical that took your time, or your own fears may have gotten in the way. In any event, this question is meant to remind you of goals you might like to set for the new year.

Now it’s time to really reflect on change and goal setting. Ask yourself these questions to dig a little deeper and give yourself purpose in 2025.

1. What do you wish you did last year?

This might have been a goal you set at the end of 2023, or it might have been a lost opportunity – like following up with a long lost friend, or trying for that promotion, or advocating for your child in a different way.

2.What do you wish you didn’t do last year?

Again, tread lightly here. This is where growth happens. Remember, we learn best by mistakes and mishaps. So, what can you learn from your actions or inactions last year?

These four questions should help you identify goals with purpose in mind. Once again, go easy here. It’s only helpful if you set realistic goals. Use the answers to the four questions above and try to avoid lofty or overly ambitious. You can always add or extend goals, but start with something that you can and want to do.  Setting goals can be overwhelming particularly if they are too general, so be specific.

The more specific your goal, the easier it is to identify the first action step toward that goal.

Remember not to get in your own way. As gifted and distractible humans, there are challenges that work against our productivity. We think of a million ways to do something so it never gets done, or we think through all the things that could go wrong and we perseverate, we procrastinate, and we – I’m going to make up a word – PERFECTIONATE. Oooh. I like that. It’s so true. Right? Are you nodding your head? We gotta do the thing in exactly this specific way or it’s not worth doing. Ugh. Total productivity killer.

Don’t give up.

You know you’ve thought about trying to move the ball down the road in your own lives. Trying to move forward, do something new, break a pattern. Here are the steps I tend to rely on when I want to effectuate change:

First, identify a goal

Second, make that goal specific – so specific that the third step flows naturally.

Third, identify the first action item – Ask yourself, “How do I begin the process of accomplishing this goal?

Fourth, who and what do you need for that first step? A mentor, , some research, an accountability buddy?

Fifth, what other action items do you need?

Sixth, what are potential pitfalls or barriers to your action items? Don’t let these convince you not to try – this step is to help you hone your action items to address barriers to success.

Seventh, how can you respond to the potential barriers?

Eighth, how will you measure progress? By what date? Do you need to calendar micro dates along the way?

Ninth, start – right now.

These steps can be applied to any type of goal you want to achieve. Goals could include productivity, personal growth, or emotional connection, to name a few.

Here are two examples:

1. I want to sit less during the workday. Which means I want to stand or move more during the workday. But this is not specific enough. So now I’ll figure out how to make this goal very specific.

Goal: I want to walk on my treadmill one time a week during the weekday for one hour.

Note how specific the goal is and that it includes what (walk), when (on a weekday), and how (on a treadmill).

Now my first action item is to decide on the day. Since I don’t see clients on Mondays I’ll choose Monday. Note that not choosing a day when I see clients avoided a pitfall. It’s difficult to work with a client and take notes while walking on a treadmill!

Other action items include how I’ll remember that Monday is my treadmill day, when I’ll move my portable treadmill under my desk, what I’ll do if there is an unexpected conflict on Monday – travel or a meeting I didn’t anticipate. I also have to remember to wear sneakers on Mondays. I’ll decide to set a reminder in my phone and/or put a sticky note on my bathroom mirror that says “MONDAY = WALK DAY! Don’t forget sneakers!” This should also trigger me to set up my treadmill. 

To ensure I’m successful with my goal, I also have to anticipate other pitfalls. For instance, what if I’m tired or just don’t want to walk on a Monday? What is my back up plan? I need to look at the calendar to see what other day will work. 

I want to chart my progress to both incentivize myself to keep walking and as another way to remind me of my goal. I’m a visual learner so I’ll measure progress by creating a check box in my paper calendar and I’ll make a checkmark each Monday I accomplish my goal

All that is left is to START!

Here is an example of a more emotion-based goal:

A general goal would be: I want a better relationship with a certain person. I have the what but I don’t have the how and the when. I decide that to have a better relationship requires more interaction. My new and specific goal, therefore, is: I will call the person one Sunday a month at 11:00 am. Now I have the what (better relationship with a certain person), the how (calling) and the when (one Sunday a month at 11:00 am).

Action items include: putting the call in my calendar and including the phone number so it’s super easy to achieve.

A pitfall might be if the timing I’ve set isn’t good for the other person. I may have to be flexible to adjust that action item.

Using these steps, described above, helps to alleviate fears as you create a step-by-step process to achieve your goals. It’s likely you won’t always anticipate all the potential pitfalls. Don’t give up! This is a great time to re-assess and adjust action items.

Here’s to wishing you a peaceful and easy transition into the new year with recognition of your efforts each and every day, and how far you’ve come